////the first time i found these mushrooms i was flabbergasted. I knew exactly who they were. They were growing in clusters in such quantities that i have never seen the likes of since. I was anxiously pacing beneath a near winter dusk sky, taking my break as a server at a busy strip mall restaurant- i just needed a little bit of nature—something in my perspective had shifted- i was able to see this realm of intense medicine that was hidden in plain sight, across the parking lot from the home goods. (this patch has sadly been raked up since then… bare earth.) my life changed forever.
After this, I started seriously nibbling and experimenting with teas. It was wild because the potency varies. I made a fresh tea from two little mushrooms and went to work later that week. I did not expect to feel the tea so fast or strong. It was a hectic night at the restaurant. Every table was full and it was a lot of elderly people- i was overwhelmed by the tasks and was near in tears all night- just thinking: i see and love these people and all they want is to be seen and loved. I couldn’t feel my body. I just floated with trays of water glasses. When the restaurant closed, I started bawling uncontrollably while finishing up my tasks with my fellow server. I asked my co-worker if I could leave early to pick up my kids from the strip mall child care center where I had dropped them off before my shift. They hated that place, and I knew it was going to be a late night. She was upset by my big emotions and told me “no,” and to finish my share of the work. The cooks heard my sobs. They thought she had been cruel to me. As a result, they shot her dirty looks. This made the situation even harder. I fell apart- and somehow got through the shift and got my children home safely-
(do not drive under the influence. Do not go to work under the influence. )
Another dosing experience found me knitting in my law and society class at the local college. I had nibbled a fresh stem, went up like a rocket, and had to quickly leave class for refuge. I remember feeling distinctly unloved. I texted my favorite cousin looking for emotional support. I wandered to the edge of campus where the creek ran and the trees were big. There was a massive gingko gone gold, and it struck me so deeply as pure truth. Dolly was gone. It was late autumn of 2016. I set my basket of knitting down and lay on the grass. I saw dew and the earth rising and falling with her breath. A mantra filled my head: get your shit together. Get your shit together–
I didn’t know what this meant- it felt a little harsh. Looking back though it’s clear to me that my shit was not together. I was grasping for signs and purpose- i felt underdeveloped and still wildly disregualted.
I did not safely plan or anticipate this trip- and i don’t really have a moral of this story.
At the end of the day, I did post my finds to the California Mushroom ID Facebook page. From there, a certain local mycologist hottie added me as a friend. Six months later, I messaged him and asked to tag along on the next mushroom hunt he went on. We’ve been married for 6 years now-
you can ready through my last 6 blog posts to learn more about how connecting with the mushroom has transformed my reality and helped make my dreams come true–
i want to be crystal clear: If you have a dysregulated nervous system, it doesn’t matter how many therapists you talk to. Psychedelics you nibble or eat will not regulate your nervous system. a dysregulated nervous system is an injury to the body and mind, stuck in the past.
this mushroom is a tool of awareness. it helps you feel, recognize patterns, and see the truth. a lot of good healing can be facilitated by this medicine, but it is not the end-all-be-all to healing, as my younger self once preached.
i had to unlearn those patterns and habits and actively feed my mind and body a new and ideal reality.
are you new here? you can follow me on instagram: @mycelial.soul-
this mushroom is a tool of awareness. it helps you see the story that’s holding you back. but awareness isn’t the whole path—integration is.
if you are ready to move from anxiety and awareness to somatic sovereignty, the door is open.
the mycelial path founders’ beta is now accepting applications to move you from survival mode to profound belonging.
you can learn more here: https://mycelialpaths.com/the-mycelial-path-founders-beta-from-survival-mode-to-symbiotic-sovereignty/
and you can email me dolly@mycelialpaths.com if you have any questions. xoxo
with the magic,
dolly
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