nimbostratus

embrace the change.

the leaves whip around my feet as i post this, sitting outside at school, bemused with the gusts and over-cast sky.

finished a doozy of an essay:

The media’s “image” of women does not serve women at all. This image does not reflect the diversity of women, does not reflect their achievements and triumphs and struggles. Media’s image of women is distorted, sexually commercialized, or squeezed out of the public eye, leaving women to self-sustain and uncover their own worthiness and potential, and protect themselves from the hostile environment that the media generates with the transmission of sexist stereotypes.

i have a new job. i have what one might call a “new outlook on life.”

i miss the antics and the vegetables at my last job, a job that didn’t feel like a job, a place i was at for 7 months, which, in my ants the pants world means A LONG TIME.

i’m serving tables now at a casual/contemporary restaurant. i work less. i make more. people find me clumsy and charming despite my horrid short term memory. (my thoughts at work: i know i’m forgetting something…)

one day i had ten tables to myself because my co-worker called and said, in her smokey southern drawl, “i’m quitting, i gotta leave town today, good luck sugar…”

just imagine clowns juggling silverware and glasses of water. i’m impressed with the circus i maintained that day, and i hope my former co-worker is okay.

i like it, though. i give up tables to chop cabbage in the back.

i pour bottles of rombauer.

i’m not covered in aioli or enslaved to the dread of closing a full kitchen.

i’m with my kids more.

i have more time (hahahahahaha, what’s that these days?) to study.. (hahaha…almost true.)

instead of just dreaming i am also planning. which requires work. and dedication. and commitment. basically i’m working out muscles i have neglected for 28 years. instead of feeling empowered i’m feeling whiny. and sullen. i know what i want and i am building it, leaving lucky pocket stones on the wayside for others to gather. but it feels right. like 28. like the geraniums in my front yard or the tea in my cupboard or story time with the pups. it feels real.

but:

i can’t remember if i have an essay to finish or if a shift starts at 5:30 or 5 or if i filled out those medical forms or where my keys are.

here’s tribute to my neighborhood, which is quaint and has the bustle of a small downtown and much wilderness.

grateful to call this place home

saving sunny seeds and admiring shades of pink.

window magic is strong at my house.

lincoln and i take little jogging tours around our neighborhood… shuffling and playing. there’s always so much to see. our circuit never disappoints.the top of the parking garage is always occupied with hooligans and skateboarding kids. we watch the sunset.

a massive bay tree—– i’ve enjoyed local bay nuts prepared by friends but have never done it myself…yet…we follow the creek home and turn the corner past the tattoo shop. linky gets kombucha and help stirs supper.

building a garden bed in the front yard. urban garden harvested and mulched over by my vegetable brothers.

embracing the change: http://idlelovewild.blogspot.com/2014/10/autumnal-joys.html  <—- i’m so tickled to go through my old blogs, here’s one from two years ago this month…

what’s changing for you?

 

xo dolly polly compost